I Did Not Die
by rain today
Summary: Hermione Granger contemplates the Final Battle: the steps made to get there and the lives lost along the way.


_**Do not stand at my grave and weep,  
I am not there, I do not sleep.**_

Hermione Granger silently watched as her friends mourned the death of another lost loved one. They stood around the polished white marble stone marker, though she knew there was no body in the damp soil beneath it. Sometimes, they couldn't find enough of someone to warrant it. The Final Battle had been bloody. There were so many, too many lost loved ones to count.

_They speak of lost innocence, _she mused. 'We lost so many innocent people in that fight' as Scrimgeour liked to say. But Hermione knew otherwise. She could tell, as they were waiting for Voldemort's forces to break through the thousand year old wards that protected their beloved Hogwarts, by the hardened faces and the flashes of hate in the eyes of her comrades. She knew that most of the innocence had been lost in the long months before…

_**I am a thousand winds that blow.**  
_

_The attack on muggle London, killing hundreds. The escape of Azkaban._

_**I am the diamond glint on snow.  
**_

_The destruction of the Slytherin locket horcrux, claiming the life of Mad-Eye._

_**I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
**_

_The betrayal Percy Weasley. He was unmasked as a Death Eater when the wedding of Bill and Fleur was ambushed._

_**I am the gentle autumn rain.  
**_

_Dolohov killed by me. Avery killed by Ron. Pettigrew killed by Harry. We sent the rat's head back as a message._

_  
**When you wake in the morning hush,  
**_

_The return of Severus Snape. Along with him were Hufflepuff's cup and the location of the last horcrux, Ravenclaw's wand._

_**I am the swift, uplifting rush  
**_

_The torture, mind-rape and persecution of Severus Snape._

_**Of quiet birds in circling flight**.  
_

_The return of a phoenix bearing the man's innocence minutes too late._

_**I am the soft starlight at night**.  
_

_Guilt. Guilt for the lives taken from me. From us. And guilt for the lives we've taken. For the lives I've taken._

_  
**Do not stand at my grave and weep.  
I am not there, I do not sleep.**_

The mourners were saying their last goodbyes. Hermione could see Arthur and Molly Weasley, who took her in as their own when her parents were killed. The pain and anguish she saw on their faces was heart aching. Tears sting her eyes as she is reminded of Ron. He died in the battle trying to save her. More blood on her hands.

Everyone, except one, was leaving. Harry. Hermione saw Harry standing before the grave briefly before falling to the ground, shaking with sobs. The desire to run to him, to hold him to tell him everything would be all right was overwhelming. HE had suffered so much in his life and had kept much of it to himself. Hermione had to steel herself. She couldn't be there for him. Not now. This is another tragedy he would have to face alone. She had almost lost her resolve, but she knew it was better this way.

The sky started to grow dark. She didn't know how long she had been there, nor did she see when Harry had left, but she had her own goodbyes to say. As she approached the marker, Hermione carefully scanned her surroundings. She needed to be complete privacy for this. At the site, she gave one last sweep before she sank to her knees.

'I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this. I'm leaving. Leaving the wizarding world forever. Magic has taken from me too much. My parents, my soul mate, my innocence. Call it selfishness or weakness, I simply don't have the strength to go on in this world. It will be muggle life for me… I hope they'll for give me, especially Harry… I don't even know why I'm saying this aloud. It's not like there's anyone listening.'

At that, Hermione got to her feet. She swept off the invisibility cloak she'd been wear and tossed it aside. From her pocket, she retrieved the pieces of a broken wand. Her wand. She placed them in front of a bouquet of white Lilies that decorated the memorial. She gave one last look at the markers inscription, then turned and walked away forever.

_Hermione Jane Granger  
1979-1997  
Simply Magical_

_**Do not stand at my grave and cry.  
I am not there, I did not die!**_

* * *

_A/N: this is my first fanfic. Any feed-back would be muchly appreciated. The Poem used is Mary Frye's 'Do Not Stand By My Grave and Weep'. However, it was inspired by the song Prayer by Lizzie West._

_rain__**  
**_


End file.
